Internalised Misogyny
Internalised misogyny happens when women impose sexism on themselves. This behaviour is carried out by women and aims to suppress the “unladylike” traits of other women based on personal insecurities. It also heavily relies on imposing patriarchal norms and stereotypes of how a woman should behave. Even in situations when men aren’t present, women experiencing internalised misogyny still feel a need to embody these behaviours as they are deeply rooted in a person's subconscious. As a result of latching onto these ideals, women experiencing internalised misogyny will often view misogyny as normal, and sometimes have low self-esteem and poor mental health.
Signs of Internalised Misogyny
Internalised misogyny shows up in many ways, such as dismissing feminism, defending sexist behaviours and desiring male validation by ways of dressing slutty or acting easy. There is also a lot of comparison between women with internalised misogyny - some will feel as though they are less because they don’t meet the patriarchal beauty standards, while others will distance themselves from femininity and claim they’re “not like other girls.” Additionally, those experiencing internalised misogyny may automatically believe they are less than men in areas where men stereotypically excel, such as employment, athletics and driving.
Who can experience Internalised Misogyny
Anyone assigned female at birth and people who identify as female can experience this. It’s especially prominent in those exposed to traditional views about how a woman should behave.
Handling Internalised Misogyny Personally
It’s important to look for the source of your internalised misogyny when challenging it. Something as simple as a defamatory remark from someone else can pivot the direction of your self-worth instantly. It might not seem like much in the moment, but over time, comments like that can evolve into harmful behaviours. Counselling can help, but surrounding yourself with positive attitudes towards femininity will also benefit. Having positive female role models - women confident in their self-presentation, regardless of how that might look - can empower you to move past misconceptions about what womanhood is and start moving towards deconstructing the foundations that internalised misogyny is built on.
Handling Internalised Misogyny in others
It’s important not to judge someone else for behaving like this. When faced with a self-loathing remark from a female friend, challenge it. Staying silent just because she’s a girl will harm her in the long run if a similar pattern of behaviour is continued. Women experiencing this might also disparage themselves. Whenever they do this, you can support them by helping change the narrative around their situation. For example, if your friend says “I’m too bossy”, flip that around and say “you’re not bossy, you’re assertive”.
Examples of Internalised Misogyny
Enforcing the Patriarchy
This can take many forms, ranging from thinking feminism is harmful to believing women aren’t competent enough to be in certain positions. Women affected by this might relinquish their aspirations in life because they believe that, just because they’re female, they’re not capable enough to achieve their dreams. They would also believe that men are more powerful, sometimes putting them on a pedestal.
Seeking Male Validation
This often shows up as making decisions about fashion/lifestyle that are better viewed through the male gaze. For example, wearing makeup because you think men will like you better. Over time, this can erode your sense of identity and turn you into someone that you don’t even recognise anymore. This is dangerous because men are likely to sustain their own misogyny if they think that women are okay with it.
"Classic" Misogyny
Believing that feminism was a mistake or promoting systemic inequality are some examples of this. Women might also denounce the pro-choice movement or support any legislation that would remove their right to bodily autonomy. When concerning other women, they may judge others for dressing too “slutty” and consider any form of domestic abuse to be the fault of the victim
Self-Depricating Language
This can look like putting yourself down, even mentally, for not fitting well enough into the traditional mould of femininity. For example, saying/thinking something like “I don’t do (thing) like a lady”. Due to the nature of internalised misogyny and the societal devaluation of womanhood, this kind of thinking alienates a woman from her sense of self and enforces a toxic ideal of femininity.
Pick Me Girls
A “pick me girl” can be described as a woman who seeks out male validation by providing men with a “better”, more passively accepting of casual misogyny alternative to other women, portraying herself as inherently superior and trying to tick off certain characteristics men are looking for in a woman to be seen as the better suitor. “Pick me girls” often put down other women, and can even be outright misogynistic.
Disconnect from Womanhood
This could look like developing a sense of disgust surrounding your own body, wanting to get rid of the very characteristics that are making you “inferior”. It’s important to note that this is different to experiencing gender dysphoria as a trans person. The former involves external forces imposing certain norms onto a woman, and the latter is experienced naturally by a person. However, some women personally express this through means of transitioning, which would further accentuate the severity of internalised misogyny. This could stem from unaddressed trauma related to sexual abuse and associating their bodies with the perpetrator’s control, physical or mental, over them, and not having the appropriate resources to heal from their trauma