Internalised Misogyny
Internalised misogyny happens when women impose sexism on themselves. This behaviour is carried out by women and aims to suppress the “unladylike” traits of other women. It also heavily relies on imposing patriarchal norms and stereotypes on what a woman should behave like; furthermore, women may distance themselves from femininity because it could remind them of their low standing on the patriarchal pyramid. Even in situations when men aren’t present, victims of internalised misogyny still feel a need to embody these behaviours as they are deeply rooted in someone’s subconscious. As a result of constant self-deprication, women experiencing internalised misogyny will often have low self-esteem and poor mental health.
Signs of internalised misogyny
Internalised misogyny shows up in many ways, such as dismissing feminism, defending sexist behaviours and desiring male validation by ways of dressing slutty or acting easy. There is also a lot of comparison between women with internalised misogyny - some will feel as though they are less because they don’t meet the patriarchal beauty standards, while others will distance themselves from femininity and claim they’re “not like other girls.” Additionally, those experiencing internalised misogyny may automatically believe they are less than men in areas where men stereotypically excel, such as employment, athletics and driving. Not only can women impose these ideas on themselves, but they will often convey them to others around them, spreading the self-hatred.
Who can experience internalised misogyny
Anyone assigned female at birth and people who identify as female can experience this. It’s especially prominent in those exposed to traditional views on what a woman should behave like. Additionally, survivors of domestic abuse are more likely to associate their femininity with being under threat, increasing their chances of falling victim to this.
Handling internalised misogyny in you
It’s important to look for the source of your internalised misogyny when challenging it. Something as simple as a defamatory remark from a male relative can pivot the direction of your self-worth instantly. It might not seem like much in the moment, but with continued efforts, comments like that can evolve into harmful behaviours. Counselling can help, but surrounding yourself with positive attitudes towards femininity will also benefit. Having positive female role models - women confident in their self-presentation, regardless of how that might look - can empower you to move past misconceptions about what womanhood is and start moving towards deconstructing the foundations that self-hatred is built on.
Handling Internalised Misogyny in others
It’s important not to judge someone else for behaving like this - internalised misogyny can sometimes be a trauma-based response. When faced with a self-loathing misogynistic remark from a female friend, challenge it. Staying silent just because she’s a girl will harm her in the long run if a similar pattern of behaviour is continued. Victims might also disparage themselves. Whenever they do this, you can support them by helping change the narrative around their situation. For example, if your friend says “I’m too bossy”, flip that around and say “you’re not bossy, you’re powerful”.
Examples of Internalised Misogyny
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