Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is defined as any behaviour thought to be of a sexual nature that is unwanted and takes place without consent. Any behaviour of a sexual nature that causes you distress is considered sexual violence, and a pattern of this behaviour is considered sexual abuse. It can be physical, verbal or online, as we have seen with X’s AI chatbot, Grok.
Signs of Sexual Abuse
​Victims of sexual abuse may be withdrawn and anxious and potentially have unexpected or unexplained emotional outbursts. Other signs of sexual abuse are repeated unexplained injuries, STIs and pregnancies. Additionally, where their boundaries have been repeatedly crossed, they may have difficulties trusting others.
Who Can Experience Sexual Abuse?
Sexual abuse can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender or background. Neurodiverse and disabled people are at a higher risk of experiencing this type of abuse, especially regarding coercion and consent. Like all types of abuse, it will often happen in a situation where a power imbalance is used to exploit a person's vulnerabilities
Breaking Free from Sexual Abuse
Recognising what’s happening as sexual abuse is the first step towards freedom. There are charities, such as Yellow Door, and helplines, such as the National Domestic Abuse helpline, that can help you plan to leave and liaise with the police about legal actions and protections. Healing from sexual abuse is possible, but it will take time. You are not alone. Contact your local police, 101 or 999, depending on the severity. If you need mental health support, contact your GP to arrange counselling. The Get Help and Support page has a list of contact support services.
So What Does Sexual Abuse Look Like?
Rape
Rape is when a person has sex with somebody without their consent; this also includes a person being too drunk/high to consent or not being able to consent due to a disability. It also includes if a person is experiencing an altered mental state due to their mental health, such as during an episode of mania.
Threatening You To Perform Sexual Acts
This can be done through threats, coercion or bribery and always means consent is not given freely or enthusiastically. The act itself may be anything from oral sex, sex with others or viewing sexual material (such as porn).
Asking for Sex Until You Give In
This is a form of coercion and means that consent has not been freely given. Any sexual act that is a result of this counts as either sexual abuse/assault or rape. It will often look like the abuser asking for a sexual act again and again until the victim gives in, but if this has been going on for sometime, it can also look like the victim just giving in for an easier life, even if they don’t want to have sex. This does not mean that the sex was consensual.
Degrading You
Without Your Consent
Whilst this can be done consensually, such as in a BDSM dynamic, if this is done without your consent it counts as sexual abuse. This type of behaviour often leads to feeling inadequate or dehumanised, leading the abuser to have more power and control over their victim.
Restraining You Withtout Your Consent
While this can be done consensually, if bribery, coercion or threats are used to get you to agree, it’s not truly consensual. This can also be dangerous if the restraints are used improperly.
Sexual
Assault
This is when an unwanted sexual act, touch or behaviour is forced onto another person without their consent; this includes groping, indecent exposure, forced sexual act or forcing someone to view sexual material.