Digital Abuse
Digital abuse, also known as technology-based abuse, refers to the kind of abuse where technology is used to cause emotional distress and manipulate someone. This can be done at any stage of a relationship, whether before, during, or after. Digital abuse often coexists with other forms of abuse, including financial, separational, sexual abuse, and coercive control.
Signs of Technology Abuse
A sign of digital abuse is the fear that anything done on or with technology can have negative repercussions from a potential, current or ex partner. Other signs of digital abuse include being forced to share passwords, setting up surveillance inside the home without your permission, and harassment, using excessive phone calls or location tracking. This can cause severe emotional distress and exhaustion as you're always looking over your shoulder - both literally and metaphorically. Other people may notice victims behaving wary using technology when their partner is around, consistent anxiety, and lower levels of communication.
Who can experience Digital Abuse?
Anyone can experience this type of abuse, regardless of age, gender, ethnicity, sexuality or disability. However, there are certain groups of people who are at a higher risk of experiencing this kind of abuse. For example, teenagers, prison leavers, the elderly and people with disabilities requiring greater support levels. What sets this type of abuse apart from others is that you can experience it from anyone or anywhere at any time.
Breaking Free from Technology Abuse
The effects of digital abuse can be minimised by seeking help from charities and the police. Additionally, be aware of children's social media profiles as the abusive partner can track you and the child through their posts, resulting in them knowing where you like to go, and them potentially showing up there. Contact your local police, 101 or 999, depending on the severity. If you need mental health support, contact your GP to arrange counselling. The Available Services page has a list of contact support services.
What Can Digital Abuse Look Like?
Doxxing
This refers to exposing someone’s personal information online, usually with the intent to move any conflict offline and into the real world. There are many ways doxxing, also spelled doxing, can be done, such as “breadcrumbing”, where small details are noticed and followed.
Monitoring Social Media Profiles
A partner can use social media profiles to initiate or escalate the abuse towards their victim in many ways, including posting verbally abusive comments to checking the locations their partner checks into or visits through their photos and potentially showing up and harassing them, or stalking them back to places they don’t post. Additionally, in situations where their child has social media, it is likely that both parents would be following the child, and the abusive ex-partner would then be able to follow the other parent that way. Furthermore, in cases where social media is used for business, typical steps such as making accounts private are not possible, thus allowing the abuse to continue.
Using Smart Home Devices To Harass You
Abusers may utilise devices, such as Alexas or Hive Heating, to further their abuse. This can range from turning off lights or the heating to mess with a person, to setting alarms to deprive them of sleep. This can be a very subtle sign of abuse as you may not always notice them at first.
Limiting Access To Technology
At first, a partner may behave as if they are feeling neglected due to you spending too much time online, or act as if they are useless without you, unable to do even the simplest household chores and asking for your help. This weaponised incompetence and emotional manipulation can quickly escalate into restricting access to technology or making you feel that you are wrong for wanting to use it, or even that you can’t when they are around. They use this to isolate you from the people around you, and it also increases your dependence on them for information as they make you feel unable to verify information that they tell you. This results in a cycle of severe, crippling anxiety and complete dependence on a partner.
Location Tracking
Location tracking can be done consensually, but abusers will often utilise location tracking apps to stalk or harass their victim. This comes from the abuser's deep-rooted desire for power and control. This form of abuse goes hand-in-hand with stalking and harassment
Revenge
Porn
This involves posting/sharing nude images on the internet without your consent. An abuser might do this out of a desire to humiliate you and cause you to feel regret about leaving them. Additionally, abusers can blackmail you with indecent images in return for staying with them. Revenge porn can take the form of posts on social media, mass share to contacts, or posting on porn websites. In the UK, revenge porn is illegal. It is best to screenshot and collect any evidence as this will be crucial if you choose to take legal action.