Covert Misogyny
Covert misogyny is a subtle form of sexism often disguised in everyday interactions and social norms. This can often appear harmless, but can cause real harm by adding to the systematic oppression of women. It is an often unconscious form of sexism that dismisses, devalues, or controls women without the overt aggression of traditional misogyny. The goal of covert misogyny is to increase the power imbalance between the sexes subtly.
Signs of Covert Misogyny
Covert misogyny can appear in many different ways. In conversations, interrupting and speaking over women is very common. This often pairs with a ‘well, actually’, which is used to contradict or even correct women. Even when the man is not an expert on the subject, it is used to belittle and silence the woman. One of the most common ways women can experience covert misogyny is when it is shielded behind a joke. This is when someone makes demeaning, sexist or condescending remarks and pressures the woman to not be upset as it is ‘just a joke.’ It is often paired with dismissing emotions by labelling women as overdramatic and ‘can’t take a joke.
Who can experience Covert Misogyny
Women in a professional / work setting are likely to experience covert misogyny. In high-performing / male-dominated fields, it is assumed that women are less competent compared to their male counterparts. This leads to mansplaining, ideas being ignored, stolen or taken over. Women from marginalised groups also experience covert misogyny. An example of this is black women who may experience a combination of racism and covert sexism. Black women are often displayed as angry and aggressive who are portrayed as emotional and unable to manage their emotions when they speak up for themselves.
Handling Covert Misogyny Personally
If you notice patterns or thoughts of covert misogyny within yourself, unlearning it can require consistent active interventions. The first is to recognise and address any internalised misogyny. This can be done by identifying and correcting the patterns when you notice them. When a misogynistic thought occurs, stop, correct it, and replace it with a supportive one. Challenge yourself, your thoughts and your actions. It may be hard, but remind yourself that misogynistic behaviours are learned, not inherited, meaning they can also be unlearned. Do not let the shame of these thoughts immobilise you; instead, learn long-term strategies for change. Seeking out a reputable therapist and building a supportive community can help develop effective coping skills and challenge misogynistic norms.
Handling Covert Misogyny in others
You can challenge the behaviour in a calm, non-aggressive manner by asking what they meant by that or simply saying “that’s offensive”. Refusing to laugh or smile at the situation and instead maintaining a neutral expression is a surprisingly effective way of showing disapproval. You can also share evidence with the person if they believe that something doesn’t happen, such as domestic abuse not being real. Statistics and personal stories can be incredibly helpful
Examples of Covert Misogyny
Objectification
​Focusing on a woman's appearance instead of her professional competence. A woman is either gorgeous or smart; she cannot be both. And if she happens to be, she is often undermined, and her appearance takes priority over the subject she discusses.
Dismissing Discrimination
Questioning the existence of sexism or claiming that women are actually advantaged in the modern world. Sometimes, men do not realise that women have to face sexism alongside other forms of discrimination, such as racism or ableism.
Subtle Workplace Bias
This is when people question whether a woman can handle the role they are in compared to their male colleagues. Also, although illegal, some companies won’t hire pregnant women because if / when she goes on maternity leave, that is time away from her job.
Patronising Behaviour
This can be as simple as referring to adult women as girls. Sometimes, not calling women by their names but as sweetheart or darling can be very belittling.
Sexist Humour
Making jokes at the expense of women is not a joke; it is harmful behaviour. If you are making a joke to purposely put another down, that is not a joke.
Double Standards
Expecting women to take on service roles while men relax. Sometimes, it is often assumed that a woman should serve men and manage their household whilst working.